IGGY’S TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS
Mr. L: This guy’s only loss was against Anti-Guy due to technicalities, but can he handle his alter ego’s rival?
King Boo: One of the Sports Hall elites. Despite his immediate elimination from two seasons in a row there’s no way he’ll miss out on a chance to beat his rival.
Before the battle…
Mr. L: Relax, the Green Thunder can handle an obese excuse of a ghost.
Dome Head: We’re not taking any risks; King Boo is an elite and took out tougher guys than you.
Mr. L: No one’s greater than the Green Thunder!!!
Dome Head: You keep telling yourself that. Whispy?
Whispy: Now I’ve taken the liberty to make some minor upgrades to-
Mr. L: YOU TOUCHED BROBOT! YOU CREEP!
Whispy: Now, now. I only made a few adjustments-
Mr. L: YOU ADJUSTED BROBOT!?! You know how he doesn’t like being adjusted!!!
Whispy: Look, all I did was add-
SHING!
Whispy: What a world. What a world….
Mr. L: It’s all right, Brobot. The bad man is gone now.
Dome Head: Are you hugging him!?!
Mr. L: You want to take this outside!?!
Dome Head: ….I’m leaving-
Mr. L: Green Missile!
Dome Head: Wha-
POW!
Dome Head: WHAT THE &%$@w$#%%^ WAS THAT FOR!?!?!?!
Mr. L: For disrespecting the Green Thunder!
Dome Head: Jerk! *on phone* Please tell me this guy isn’t our only asset.
Captain: It’s either him or Duplighost.
Dome Head: Fine. *hangs up* That #$@$%#%#@# Dynastar better be worth it…
The Battle!
Josh: And welcome to a special episode of The Josh and King Boo Show/Iggy’s Tournament of Champions! For the first time
I’m actually excited about this battle!
B.Bob-omb: We’re holding a telethon! We’re going on the air for 24 hours to reach our goal of 100,000 coins to buy a new sports hall for Iggy; and the best part is…
Josh and B.Bob-omb: We’ll never have to see these people again!!!
B.Bob-omb: Speaking of Iggy, where is the psychopath?
Josh: Oh, he’s hiding.
B.Bob-omb: From whom?
Josh: Me, Green Snift, and Pyro Guy.
B.Bob-omb: And why may I ask?
Josh: There was a misunderstanding and accidently screwed up the CFT Hall schedule; so he thinks we’re out to kill him or something.
B.Bob-omb: What a freak. Anyway; you may be wondering why Dry Bones hasn’t said anything depressing yet-
Audience: Not really.
B.Bob-omb: Shut up. Well….
Dry Bones: YES! They… put Fawful…and Junior…in a glass box…
Fawful can be seen unphased by the fact that he’s in a glass box while Bowser Jr. is passed out from pure frustration.
B.Bob-omb: Bliss. Now-
Midbus: Master Fawful!
B.Bob-omb: NO, DON’T BREAK THE-
SMASH!
Fawful: -FURY!
Bowser Jr.: Dear Lord, make it stop! Make it stop!
B.Bob-omb: Midbus! What the hex was that for!?! And what are those guys doing with you?
Midbus: Oh, I hope you don’t mind me bringing Yoob and Fryguy here; they wanted to help with stopping the conspiracy.
Yoob: &^*@^#*^&%$^%!
Fryguy: I’m waaay too hot to touch!
Fawful: A spiracy of coness?
Josh: Whatever just make yourself useful and man a phone.
Midbus: But-
B.Bob-omb: Now for the contestants! Junior?
Bowser Jr.: Fury. So much fury…
Josh: In hindsight, it was kind of cruel to put Junior in a confined space with freak bean there.
Fawful: I HAVE CHORTLES!
B.Bob-omb: So true. In the yellow corner, he tore apart the Hall in Season 7 and 8, Mr. L!
Mr. L: Bring it on!
Dry Bones: And…in the…very depressing…green-
Fawful: TIME!
Dry Bones: PEOPLE WATCHING THIS! I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T DONATE ENOUGH MONEY FOR THESE FREAKS TO GET OUT OF HERE I SWEAR I WILL FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND RIP OUT-
Bing!
B.Bob-omb:…Wow, we already reached $1,000.
Dry Bones: I’m…leaving now…
Josh: Okay then. In the green corner is my co-host; the one the only King-
King Boo: Weston!
Josh: …What?
King Boo: It’s me, Sir Weston; remember!?!
Josh: You all right there, dude?
King Boo: *whispers* Are you out of your mind!?! Why d’you yet them in here!?!
Josh: What? Midbus, Fryguy, and Yoob? Why-
King Boo: Think. What do those three have in common?
Josh: Uh…
King Boo: I fought them in Round 3!
Josh: Oh, and Spy Guy won that, right?
King Boo: NO! They counted it as a tie!
Josh: But you lost; and you weren’t in the finale.
King Boo: Tell that to Lemmy! All three of them have a loss against me even though I didn’t win.
Josh: So they’re ticked that you unrightfully tarnished their records, big deal. It’s not like they’ll go to extremes or-
Yoob: @$%#^&%#$@!!!
Midbus: You’re right! That is the guy who screwed us over!
Fryguy: Burn Baby!
King Boo: …
Josh: Um, sorry guys. This is er, um, Sir Weston.
Midbus: I’ll buy that.
Fryguy: A shame; and I was really looking forward to burning him to a crisp.
B.Bob-omb: Whatever, now you said something about a conspiracy?
Midbus: Huh?
B.Bob-omb: The reason why you’re here?
Midbus: Oh, I forgot. Fryguy, why are we here again?
Fryguy: Weren’t we here to kill King Boo?
Midbus: I believe I said that as a ploy for you to come along with me; but considering he’s somewhere here in the Hall that sounds like a better idea.
B.Bob-omb: *sigh* Just man a phone or something.
Midbus and Fryguy: Okay.
King Boo: So we meet again, Luigi! I hope you haven’t lost any of your skill over the years. I’ve been waiting a long time for this!
Mr. L: …Do I know you?
King Boo: Blehehehe! Resorting to cheesy disguises now, Luigi? How pathetic!
Mr. L: Seriously, who are you?
B.Bob-omb: Nobody cares! Now who’s reffing?
Fawful: Fawful will-
Josh: Let’s use one of Iggy’s chomps.
Chain Chomp: Bark Bark!
Fawful: ….
B.Bob-omb: You sure we should let him-
Josh: We don’t have time! Chomp!!!
Chain Chomp: Bark Bark!
I HAVE DINGING!
B.Bob-omb: When did we get a bell?
Josh: And why does it look like Fawful?
Fawful: Fawful was of the buying the bell of much Fawfulness with the money of donated properties!
B.Bob-omb: How much did it cost?
Fawful: Dollars of the thousandness!
Josh: WHAT!?!
$0
B.Bob-omb: I despise you, Fawful.
Fawful: What is of the newness?
Iggy: Fawful merchandise!!!
B.Bob-omb: …..Weirdo.
Mr. L: Green Missile!
King Boo: Yawn. Teleport.
Mr. L: Wha-
King Boo: Spike Bomb!
Mr. L: Aaargh!
King Boo: How sad; I expected better from you, Lui-
Mr. L: Fiery Jump Punch!
SHING!
King Boo: Yowch! Not bad, but you’ll-
Mr. L: Green Missile!
King Boo: Aagh!
B.Bob-omb: And Mr. L managed to get several hits on King Boo while he was busy gloating. Now back to the phones!
Josh: Okay, Iggy. Just answer the phone when people call to donate money and you’ll be out of our lives forever.
Iggy: That depends.
Josh: What depends?
Iggy: If I can have the Fawful bell.
Josh: Iggy, we’re doing this for your benefit.
Iggy: Point being?
Josh: ……Fine, keep the bell.
Iggy: Yay!
RING!
Iggy: Hello, this is the Iggy’s Tournament of Champions Foundation.
Dark Finituvus: *muffled* Yes, I’d like to donate one million dollars to the foundation-
Iggy: KA-CHING!
Josh: YES!
Dark Finituvus: -in exchange for SLAVINATOR.
Iggy: …I’m sorry, but you have the wrong number. *hangs up*
Josh: DUDE!
Iggy: It was SLAVINATOR!
Josh: Seriously, that internet meme is starting to get old.
Iggy: SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!!!
Josh: -_- Just go back to the match…
King Boo: You clever little sneak! Well don’t expect to- HOLYCRAPWHATAREYOUDOINGWITHTHAT!?!?!
Mr. L: What’s wrong? Can’t handle a little vacuum cleaner?
Fawful: The L of Misterness just pulled out the mustard of ghosts’ doom that is the geist of the polterness with properties of sixthousandness!
Mr. L: You’re finished! ACTIVATE!
King Boo: NOOOOOOO!!!
500hp -> 484hp
King Boo: Boos! Assist your master!
Boos: Hahaha!
Mr. L: Dual attachment!
Boos: AAAAAHHHH!!!
Fawful: The boos-
B.Bob-omb: Fawful, get out.
Fawful: Hmm?
B.Bob-omb: GET. OUT. You’re annoying me.
Fawful: Ever of Whatness.
B.Bob-omb: …To the phones.
Midbus: Now to wait…
RING!
Midbus: Hello?
Goomba: Is this Iggy’s Tournament of Champions?
Midbus: No, this is Midbus. *Hangs up*
RING!
Midbus: Hello?
Koopa: Is this Iggy’s Tournament of Champions?
Midbus: No this is Midbus. *Hangs up*
RING!!!
Very Rich Man Who Would Give Any Amount of Money Regarding For Anything Regarding Lemmy’s Land: Is-
Midbus: NO! THIS IS MIDBUS! M-I-D…BUS! NOW STOP CALLING ME AND GO DIE! *slams phone* How dare they compare me
to Iggy.
Iggy: You know, our ranks aren’t that different-
Midbus: Shut up, just shut up!
Josh: Midbus; that’s the name of the foundation.
Midbus: D’oh!
Josh: And the total money we’ve raised…
0
B.Bob-omb: Urge to explode…rising.
Josh: Back to the stupid match…
484hp -> 451hp
King Boo: That tears it! Aqua Blast!
Swoosh!
Mr. L: Aw, gross man!
King Boo: Now Boolosous, come forth!
Boos: Blehehehe!
Boolosous: All must submit to King Boo!
Josh: And the ghosts combined to form some guy that nobody cares about.
Fryguy: Wait! I have a caller! Hello?
Koopa: Um, I’ve noticed Fawful’s gone now. Where is he?
Fryguy: How should I know?
Koopa: Could you bring him back?
Fryguy: Nobody loves him. Goodbye.
RING!
Iggy: Hello?
Duplighost: I-
Iggy: Go be annoying somewhere else!!! *hangs up*
Josh: Seriously, what do you have against that guy?
Iggy: EVERYTHING!
Josh: Yoob, have you made any progress?
Yoob: &*^&#$(*$%&!@$%^&!!!
Midbus: It appears Yoob’s small arms have rendered him incapable of picking up the phone.
Josh: I’m surrounded by idiots.
Boolosous: Body Slam!
Mr.L: Sidestep!
Boolosous: Huh?
Mr. L: Poltergeist, activate!
Boolosous: Split!
Boos: Blehehehe! Try and catch us, plumber!
Mr. L: Come on!
Poltergeist 6000: WARNING! WARNING! LARGE NUMBER OF SPIRITS ENCOUNTERED! EMERGENCY SELF-DESTRUCT SYSTEM INITIATED!
Mr. L: Grrr…Think fast! *toss*
Boos: What the-
KABOOOOOOOOMMM!!!
Josh: And the guy killed the other guys with some attack nobody cares about. B.Bob-omb?
Iggy: For the last time, Dark Finituvus, I am not giving you SLAVINATOR!
Dark Fitituvus: I’ll throw in Steve the Pikmin.
Iggy: YOU STOLE STEVE!?!
Dark Fintituvus: Ummmm…..*hangs up*
B.Bob-omb: Dude, let it go. It was a one-time internet meme gone dead.
Iggy: NEVER!
King Boo: Not bad, Luigi, but can you handle-
Mr. L: Brobot activate!
Brobot enters through a tear in the dimension.
King Boo: Wait! I thought I bought that-
Mr. L: Rockets!
King Boo: Teleport!
KABOOOM!
King Boo: Please don’t tell me that was supposed to hurt.
Josh: Well my motivation to live is basically dead now. Dry Bones-
Dry Bones: *SOB*
Josh: You know what? Just to be a jerk.
One kidnapping later…
Duplighost: Put me down! I don’t want to be in this foul place!
Josh: Shut up! You’re announcing.
Duplighost: But-
Josh: DO IT!
RING!
Iggy: Mmhmmm…Ok, someone’s willing to donate $100 to see Fryguy burn Duplighost to a crisp; which is weird since-WHAT IN THE NAME OF DAD IS HE DOING HERE!?!?!
Duplighost: Look, he made me come here-
Iggy: Josh, you traitor!
Josh: Look, at this point I really don’t care. Now do you want to see Duplighost in pain or not?
Iggy: Fine…Fryguy!
Fryguy: BUUUURRRRNNNNN!!!
Duuplighost: AHHH! It burns!
$100
Josh: Yes!
King Boo: You think I need my boos to take you down!?! Bring it-
Mr. L: Rocket Punch!
CRASH!
King Boo: Ouch. Not bad, but you won’t be-
Mr. L: Poltergeist Attachment!
King Boo: Aaaargh! You have got to be kidding me!
451 -> 405
Duplighost: Ow……Mr. L is assaulting King Boo with his vacuum cleaner.
405->368
King Boo: Poison Mushrooms!
TOSS!
Mr. L: …You do realize poison doesn’t work on machines, right?
King Boo: Oh come on!
368-> 309
King Boo: THAT TEARS IT! MANSION SUMMON!!!
Mr. L: What the-
CRASH!
B.Bob-omb: Did he just crash his mansion onto the ring?
Josh: Okaaay.
RING!
Iggy: Hello? YES! They want Yoob to eat him!
Duplighost: And by him of course you mean-
Yoob: #^&%$@!
Gulp!
Duplighost: Hmph. This actually isn’t so bad-
Sunnyside: %^&%^!$^$^%&!!!
Duplighost: x_x Why is it always me?
$1,500
Josh: Yes!
In the mansion…
Mr. L: Where are you? Show yourself!
King Boo: Blehehehe! Try and find me-
Voooosh!
309->227
King Boo: Blehehehe! Oh Luigi! You really have gone rusty if you don’t know my mansion by now!
Mr. L: What are you talking about-
Bogmire: SUUUUUFFFFFFEEEEEERRRRR.
Mr. L: Wha!?! Dual attachment!
Sir Weston: Ice Pillar!
Mr. L: Argh! Dual-
Biff Atlas: Mach Punch!
Mr. L: Stop ganging up on me!!!
Duplighost: And-
RING!
Josh: Phone call! Hello?
???: This guy sucks. Bring back Fawful.
Josh: Iggy, I know it’s you.
???: What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Josh: Iggy, you’re literally 5 feet away from me.
Iggy: Um, um, I’m heading through a tunnel! *hangs up*
Duplighost: What is wrong with that kid?
Josh: Weren’t you in Yoob’s stomach?
Duplighost: I turned into laxatives.
Josh: ……ew.
Duplighost: Desperate times call for desperate measures.
RING!
B.Bob-omb: Hello?
Crawful: Where’s master Fawful?
B.Bob-omb: You’re a poorly named minion; your opinion doesn’t count. *hangs up*
RING!
B.Bob-omb: Hello?
Fawful Guy: We want master Fawful.
B.Bob-omb: Nobody cares. *hangs up*
RING!
B.Bob-omb: (I swear.) Hello?
Midbus: Where’s-
B.Bob-omb: Midbus! You’re holding up the lines!!!
Midbus: They’d only ask for Fawful anyway.
RING!
Fryguy: They’re willing to donate $75,000 if we bring back Fawful!
B.Bob-omb: *sigh* Fawful-
Fawful: I am having the returning!
Duplighost: Woohoo! Now I can-
Fryguy: They want Duplighost to stay with him for another $1,000!
Duplighost: …….Why me?
$91,000
Josh: Woo!
Mr. L: Ack! I’m sorry Brobot. Eject!
King Boo: What’s this?
Mr. L: Self-destruct, initiate!
King Boo: Nuts. Everyone, it’s been an honor working with you. Teleport!
Biff Atlas: Well this stinks-
KABOOOOOM!
Mr. L: *pant pant* There’s…no way…he could’ve-
King Boo: Spikebomb!
Mr. L: Poltergeist!
Fawful: And the L of misterness that is of the reminiscing the green ‘stache that Fawful loathes has just used the Poltergeist
to suck the ball of much spikiness in!
Mr. L: Eject!
Bam!
King Boo: Argh!
Vooosh!
227->173
King Boo: Blehehehe! So it has come to this-
Iggy: ~Every single drop of all you got-
B.Bob-omb: IGGY! Nobody likes your singing!!!
Iggy: Aw…
King Boo: Bowser Suit!
The robot Bowser suit from Luigi’s Mansion crashes down next to King Boo.
King Boo: *climbs in* Now you will die!!!
Duplighost: Someone please get me out of-
Doopliss’s theme can be heard.
Duplighost: Sorry, that was my cellphone. Hello? What!?! Can’t this wait!?!
Josh: What’s with you?
Duplighost: Um, I have an errand to run.
Josh: You can’t just leave! People are paying us to see you suffer!
Duplighost: Look, I’ll only be gone for a little-
Josh: Don’t care; now stay-
Dimentio???: Ciao!
Duplighost teleports from the scene under the guise of Dimentio.
Josh: ……
King Boo: *in Bowser Suit* Give it up, Mr. L. You’re surely doomed.
Mr. L: Brobot!
Brobot comes hovering towards Mr. L.
King Boo: What!?! I thought you blew it up!
Mr. L: The Green Thunder always has a backup plan! Bring it on!
King Boo: Fire Breath!
Brobot: Yowch! Do you mind!?!
Mr. L: Shut up! Rockets!
Bang! Bang! Bang!
King Boo: Argh!
Mr. L: Poltergeist Attachment!
173->92
King Boo: Spikebomb!
Mr. L: Sidestep!
King Boo: Nooooo!!!
Mr. L: Poltergeist!
92->1
Mr. L: Just one more…
King Boo: That’s it! You’ve forced my metaphorical hand!
Josh: It looks like-
Iggy: We’ve got another donator!
Josh: Woo! How much did he give?
Iggy: Minus $100,000!
Josh: Ye-wait, WHAT!?!
Iggy: He gave us minus $100,000!
Josh: …Ok, what the $%^#$!@ is wrong with Plit’s currency?
Iggy: What’s your problem?
Josh: That means he basically stole all of our money and that we owe him $1,900. Who was the donator anyway?
Iggy: Um, Dark Finituvus-
Josh: YOU LET DARK FINITUVUS STEAL OUR MONEY!?!
Iggy: He seemed honest-
-$1,900
Josh: Iggy, you’re dead to me.
Iggy: I can live with that.
B.Bob-omb: Wait, don’t you still have all that money from the SLAVINATOR auction?
Iggy: Mmhmm.
B.Bob-omb: WHY NOT USE IT TO BUY A NEW HALL!?!?!
Iggy: I don’t want to waste my fortune on something so pointless!
B.Bob-omb: And yet, the 20k gold coffee maker was worth buying.
Iggy: Duh.
B.Bob-omb: ……If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be banging my head on a nearby wall wondering why I even agreed to work with you.
Iggy: Have fun-
B.Bob-omb: SHUT UP!
King Boo: *climbs back in the Bowser Suit* Blehehehe!
Mr. L: Hmph. Laughing at your own demise now, psycho?
King Boo: No. This was truly a battle of the ages; I expected no less from you, Luigi! This will make my victory all the more
glorious!
Mr. L: And why do you think that you’ll win?
King Boo: Simple. I planted a time spikebomb on your Poltergeist before I transported you here! And speaking of which; it should be going off in less than ten seconds!
Mr. L: What!?! *tosses Poltergeist* Eject!
Brobot: Wait! Don’t leave-
KABOOOOOOM!!!!!
Josh: I’m too depressed to announce.
B.Bob-omb: *sigh* Fawful-
Fryguy: He’s gone.
B.Bob-omb: What?
Fryguy: He and Midbus left saying something about investigating.
B.Bob-omb: Whatever. The less Fawful, the better. Fryguy, you announce.
Fryguy: Okay. Mr. L just abandoned his Poltergeist and left it in Brobot after discovering that it was rigged with explosives; which is kind of odd since he’s so attached to Bro-is that Duplighost unconscious where Brobot was?
B.Bob-omb: Does it really matter?
Mr. L: *huff huff* I’m sa-
King Boo: Never let your guard down!
Mr. L: Huh?
King Boo: ULTIMATE MEGATON SPIKEBOMB!!!
Mr. L: Dear merciful-
*CATASTROPHIC EXPLOSION NOISES!!!!*
Mr. L: …
Fryguy: …Where’s the ref?
Josh: I think Yoob ate it or something.
Yoob: &^#%@#(*&%?
Iggy: Wait, does that mean we’re having another telethon?
Josh: *SOB*
B.Bob-omb: *SOB*
Iggy: Um…
Fryguy: End Transmission.
After the battle…
Dark Finituvus: Okay, I got the money from them. So they should be stuck together for another week or so.
Captain: Excellent! If they’re all still in the same proximity it’ll be much easier to kill them.
Dark: What? I just want SLAVINATOR and to start another war.
Captain: Really? All of this for a dead internet meme? Pathetic.
Dark: Look, the deal was that I get you both Iggy’s and Josh’s halls and Roy’s Dynastar in exchange for SLAVINATOR. I didn’t agree to killing them.
Captain: Then it appears we’re at a standstill. Now make yourself useful and get me a meatball sub.
Dark traps the Captain in another one of his glass boxes.
Dark: I’m not one to be trifled with, Captain. I have more power than you can ever imagine.
Captain: As do I, Finituvus, I can get rid of-
Dark: What’s your problem?
Captain: Someone’s here. Someone familiar…
???: I HAVE FURY!
Dark: Fawful!?! What are you doing-
The Captain breaks out of the glass box by throwing a hammer; knocking Dark out in the process.
Captain: DIE!
Midbus: CHARGE!!!
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Goomba King: Goomba King, Goomboss, Goombaron, whatever you call him he’s the king of a completely hopeless species that lost his only match to a secretary.
Reznor: Their only claim to fame was defeating King Dad back in Season 1 and they have one name despite there being four of them…how are we supposed to tell them apart? Better question, who cares?
